I was at the gym, I saw you walk pass, but I made no attempt to greet you. Gym and running feels good, because accompanying it is pain, with reminds me that I'm still alive, and it gives me alone time, for me to explore and rationalize why life just suck the way it does.

The path is clear now. Just like you need to walk alone to discover yourself, I need to venture into the future alone to rediscover myself. I thought I knew myself, but interacting with you made me realize that I am still a immature small boy with young ideals, with knowledge but no peace. It's like a ticking time bomb, like science without ethics.

This path I will walk, I don't want you to accompany me into it. Treat all we had to be happy memories that we can sometimes cry ourselves to sleep. But at the end of the day, reality will force us to move on, regardless of how hurtful it may be. Time will force all feelings to fade, for without time and nurturing, feelings are naught. What I really hated about all these was that it was unnatural, and the song at the end would summarize why I really hated it. I am sorry that I was manipulative with you at the end, but all I ever wanted was to see you once again. It was immature of me, maybe stupid even, so please forgive me. I am not good with goodbyes, I never was. Butt this is goodbye.

Into this darkness I will walk alone, and if one day I remove myself from the face of the earth, just take it as that you were unfortunate in knowing me. Life has always been a make or break thing, maybe it's just that breaking never seemed to be that much of a reality previously. Life sucks, reality hurts, but no I will not go down without a fight, and I hope that I, not life, will triumph at the end of the day.

I know you probably want me to promise you that I will not take my life at any point, but here I will be selfish. Much as I know that we are defined by our commitments to others, I cannot promise you that, because it's just too big a possibility, and I don't want to make you a promise I cannot keep. I am sorry I am so hard on things like keeping promises or making good our word, but those things mean a lot to me, because it will solidify everything I said; the possibility of it all being sweet nothing hurts a lot, even though they might not be. In life, it is such assurance and security that we look for, and one day I hope that you will learn it, and you will practice it. At the end of the day, do remember that every single promise I made to you, it was made in good word, that I can assure you.

As for you, you need to move on. You haven't really moved on, merely suppressing your emotions within yourself. You need to move on because if you don't, one day at a moment of weakness, you will find yourself like me. Burying our past never works; Only letting go of it will allow us to step into the future. Time will fade me away from you, and before you know it, I will just be a fragment of your memory lost somewhere in the recesses of your mind. One day, you might even find yourself pondering if I was even real, or maybe just a fragment of imagination, a fairytale you wished was true.

You need to find happiness, and one day you will find someone else who loves you more than I did, and when that day comes, I hope that you will learn to reciprocate his love, because it is such tormentingly painful to love someone who doesn't love you. You just don't know how it feels, but I assure you that it is not a feeling you would want to experience.

I thought I was ready to look for that one perfect girl that I can truly put my heart and soul into loving. I thought I found the one girl that I could love with all I had. And I did. And I loved you like I loved no others, more than any one of the people I know, or maybe more than everyone I know combined. But I guess life just sucks like that. It's just unfair, plain unfair.

So here is me bidding our friendship goodbye, and all we ever had. This path I will undertake, I have to venture alone. Let's just hope I will make it out at the end of the tunnel. Maybe this goodbye will be forever. Maybe never ever.

Sign,
DQ.

There will be no more such sad songs of nostalgia next time. It's really time to move on. Okay, maybe once in a while, because I am sure I will still miss you, and everything we had. And I hope you would too.