I don't know if you still read this, I'm guessing that you don't, but why not. Maybe one day, you might. So this is for you.

I was just looking through our skype conversations and truth be told, I pretty much hate the past me. A lot, in fact.

How could I have even treated you that way. It was not disturbing, it's disgusting, and I am really sorry for what I did. Nothing I say now can change what happened in the past. To make this better, all I can say is that I will not make the same mistake again. I believe that this would be pleasing for you as well, for it has always been your wish to see me grow and mature into an adult. For that, too, I thank you for always wanting the best of me.

But the conversation also made me thankful for the fact that we are not together now, for I believe, and still do, that you deserve someone better than me. I am sorry for not being able to see how much you loved me, for the times that I wasn't there for you when you needed me and the times that I was lacking and failed to see things from the broader perspective. I am sorry for being self-centered, so very self-centered.

All these said, I do cherish the memories that you gave me, the things that you made me learn and how you helped me grow. Thank you for all those beautiful memories, for loving me despite me being horrendously immature, for making me who I am today. I hope that there are at least some good memories that you can remember me by too. Now I can say, with utmost conviction, that I do not want to get back with you, because you truly deserve someone better than me, that I would only bring and trigger more hurt and pain.

Thank you for loving me, not only the good things but also the bad. I really appreciate it. I am sorry that our relationship was a case of you loving me more than me loving you, and I am sorry for all the bad memories, and all the things I've done to hurt you. I am sorry that I failed to recognize your how much you loved me, and that I took it for granted. I hope you will forgive me for all the silly things that I did.

I apologize.

I wish you all the best.

Sincerely,
A truly appreciative person who hates how he treated you.