On the tagboard, 'floorball rox' requested for a post discussing about where to draw the line between using your heart and using your head. Of course, my generic answer is cliché - It will have to depend on the context, employ the right one for the right situation. I shall explain myself in a few context, hoping that one of it is what you are looking for.
First up, the most common topic whereby people are faced with this dilemma - Love.
My stance for this is to use your heart. For the simple reason that you don't think love, you feel love. But some will ask, if you were to follow your heart in love, then what is the right way of loving someone?
Lucky for all of us, we are homo sapiens. We have innate primal instincts, and highest priority in the list is survivability. Part of survivability is to reproduce, and part of reproduction is mating, and we all know that there is one important thing in mating - Attracting your mate; impressing the opposite sex.
You see, this ability of how to love is innate. There is no need for another to teach you, just as a baby Komodo Dragon knows that it have to climb up a tree the moment it is born to prevent being preyed upon - It is a primal instinct. But sometimes, why we find it so difficult to love is simply because we have been taught to suppress our primal instinct.
For example, a part of survivability is communal living, but some of our parents taught us to be wary of your friends, that there is no free lunch in this world, that everyone cares more about themselves before you. Like communal living, some of us managed to make ourselves believe that love hurts; it's not worth a try. If you happen to be in any of the categories mentioned above, or any along the line, you might find it hard to re-discover your natural ability to love.
But so long as you are willing to allow yourself to live again, to follow your heart, how to love will come to you, naturally.
And a piece of advice from me to you is not to hide in your comfort zone of not loving in fear of getting hurt, because love is divine.
Next up, spirituality. For the simple reason that spirituality is something you you personally believe in, and yet is unable to rationalize, you have to use your heart. Enlightenment, which I think is the best thing spirituality can offer you, is felt, not taught. You don't go about saying, "Teach me how to attain Zen?". Instead, you ask yourself, "How do I attain Zen." Zen is a self-discovery, a personal mastery. In spirituality, teachings are only able to teach you that much. In my opinion, teachings only make up 20% of why spirituality is awesome. The other 80% that is most wonderful about spirituality is discovering yourself. Enlightenment, and change, comes from the inside. Knowing yourself, recognizing your flaws, and strengths too, suggest that you are halfway on the route to enlightenment, to changing for what you perceive is better.
For most of the other things, follow your head.
In short, if it is about spiritual, primal instinct(communal living, survivability, etc), love, etc, use your heart. If not, use your head.
This writing sucks bad. No rigour, no emphasis, no personal touch. Seems to me like blatant ranting.
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2 comments:
Floorballrox: yep. I really want to join the police force (heart) but my parents strongly object it. If i follow my heart it will make my family relationship more tense.I still have 2 years before graduation so I'll just see how. This is kind of personal so I never comment on tagboard. Can just ignore this after you read it.
Our love ones are often the ones who hurt us most. Regarding your family post, I will keep you in prayer. My family has tense relations since the past, and prayer accompanied me through the years. I almost commited suicide many times when i was as young as 9 years old. I do not know what to do so I just cry out in prayer. Thank God I am still alive, and he is the hope of my life now. Though I cannot see Him, but I know he is with me through all these years. Just like gravity, you cannot see it, but you can feel it.
Enjoy staying at Temasek Hall, and playing floorball! when the journey gets tough remember you are not alone! I will always keep you in my prayers. My real identity isn't important for my aim is just to drop by and encourage. Keep posting yea (:
Okay, here is my reply, I hope you'll see it, because this is the only other channel for me to get to you without using the tagboard.
Anyway, I published your comment, do you want me to take it down? Let me know if you do.
Anyway, I do not know your exact situation, but other than following your heart, you need to make a decision that you will not regret. Because your life is not yours in isolation, but a network entwining not only your loved ones, but your friends, and even your enemies.
I'm not sure if you are looking for advice, but if I were you...
I would want to know why my parents are against me joining the police force, and I would have to work around it, or even convince them against it.
But if all does not go well, then I would ask myself, why do I want to join the police force? Is it to.. Serve the community? Uphold justice? Protect my loved ones?
Because understanding what I stand for would allow me to explore more options to fulfil what I stand for. Am I only able to uphold justice in the police force? Are there other channels for me to do so?
But at the end of the day, make a decision that you will not regret in the future. If you choose to be a filial son, make sure you believe that being a filial son is more important. Because, if not, you will live a life of regret, and a life of 'should have's'.
I know this might sounds really idealistic, and it might seem like I don't understand the difficulty of being in the situation at all. I get that most of the times too, whenever I look from advice from others. "You don't know how hard is it. You'll never understand." Henceforth, my 'advices' are all presented in questions. My advice is not about what you should/have to do, but a form of self-discovery. Making decisions is so much easier when you know what you really want/ don't want.
Other than that, I think the Serenity Prayer is very relevant in your situation. Try it, it helps.
Serenity Prayer - God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Last point, I am glad that you are a survivor of suicide, and I hope that you now cherish life more. I hope that if the thought of ever taking your own life ever run though your mind again, think of your friends, your loved ones, and God.
Thank you. I am so looking forward to hall camp next week! (:
And ultimately, thanks for reading!
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