Liberal views on LOVE

As stated, my views on love are extremely liberal; I think it's perfectly fine for couples not to get married. And I shall attempt to justify that. (I will be using me and you, because it is so much easier to express myself rather than in terms of Person #1 and Person #2)

Note: Whatever I refer to as 'marriage' could also be interpreted as 'a relationship'. Tweak the grammar a little, but the idea is similar.

A disclaimer before I begin - By no means am I saying that marriage is a bad thing. My views on this is akin that on religion. If it makes you a better person, do it. But if it doesn't, or makes you worse, then it is time to question why we subscribe to them.

Before I begin, allow me to show you our generic social behaviour, in an attempt to broaden your perspective. Too often, we are taught to use our mind and not follow our heart. This is significantly evident in our society, as 'nurtured' by our education system - There is no/little passion in what we do. And as I always say, "When there is no cause, there is no case."

This brings me to the point - You don't think love, you feel it. Not knowing love doesn't make you any less of a lover, and knowing it doesn't make you any more of one too. Feel with your heart, not your mind. There is just so much our mind can do; Love can never be rationalized, simply because there is only one person that is the subject of our love. It is UNIQUE. Below are two clichés that might help you understand what I'm trying to put across.

"Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder." 
There is no one most beautiful person in the world. The ugliest person to one may seem to be the most beautiful to another. Likewise, the most beautiful person to one may seem to be the ugliest to another.

"One's meat, another man's poison."
What you may find appeasing might seem to be the most irritable to another. And vice versa.

In a nutshell, love is unique. Don't try to understand love, for the beauty of love is the mystery of it. Your mind will never understand what your heart tells you, and your heart will never understand what your mind tells you. Feel it.

Now for the main part.

If marriage is going to make me love you less each day, then I would rather not be married, and live under the fear that I may lose you each day, so that I would cherish you every single moment of my life. The hard truth about this is that when we 'possess' our other half, we will start to take things for granted, simply because we lose the fear of losing them - We become complacent.

If marriage is going to make you feel that you shouldn't leave me because you feel 'bad', even though you don't love me any more, then I would rather you be able to leave me and pursue your happiness. After all, does loving someone require you to possess them? Personally, I don't think so. Put on the extreme, possessing them may even be akin to holding them captive; Making them doing something against their will.

If not getting married means that I won't take you for granted, I don't see any reason to get married. Marriage is merely a social construct, whereby a man is officially the spouse of a woman, and vice versa. And I would like to question, who are you trying to prove your relationship to? Look. You are not accountable to anyone about your relationship other than your partner - The person you are engaged in a relationship with. So, does it really matter so much whether or not you are married or engaged? Shouldn't what really matter be the love that co-exist, the mutual appreciation of the two?

I must question once again, as I always do - Are we too engrossed in the tangibles, that we fail to see that we have neglect the intangible aspects, even in the case of an intangible? In short, why are we trying to make tangible the intangibles? Have we lost the intangibles in our bid to make them tangible?

There is no measurement for love. Love is a feeling. If you feel it, you feel it. You might be able to say otherwise, but your heart cannot lie. Having a certificate for 'love' doesn't make you love another any more than you did, and not having one doesn't make you love another any less.

If you truly love someone, it seems amazingly easy to be appeased by the person. But when you start to take someone for granted, you seem to be irritated by every action of theirs. When these signs start to show themselves, it's time to question yourselves - Have I set the bar too high such that it becomes unachievable? Did their 'good' things all seem so mundane to me because I have been too used to their 'good' things? Does me getting used to their 'good' things make their 'good' things any less 'good'?

But you must also ask yourselves, "Does he really love me less now than before?"

Many say that love is painful, and with it comes suffering. I do agree; It's not always a smooth and straight road. But when you suffer more than you enjoy in the relationship, maybe what you are feeling isn't love, but a sense of attachment; an unwillingness to change. And mark my words, everyday that you remain engaged in this unwillingness/attachment, life/love is going to be painful. Maybe even more than you could even imagine.

Whether we love someone or not is not determined by a piece of paper, and it is definitely not determined by what you say. 'Saying I Love You' might sound sweet, but it really is negligible when you compare it with 'Showing I Love You'.

In a few words to sum up all I have said:

Love is all about how you feel.

And once again,

It would be better if we don't fall in love at all, if we cannot fall so hopelessly in love that we cannot get ourselves out of it. 


 On a side note, I actually do have so much more that I wanted to type. But as always, I lose all inspiration whenever you put me in front of a computer, all ready to pen down my thoughts. Guess I'll never be a great writer. Enjoy. I may edit when those thoughts resurface on my mind.