while we are in camp, we yearn to book out.
after we book out, we yearn for something to do,
someone to ask us out, something to spend our time on.

so why exactly do we want to book out so much?

it is only after going NS that i find out that i can mature so much more,
that so many things in the world is but a facade, a superficial expression.
who, exactly, knows; knows the very least of what is going through my mind.
who, exactly, is able to speak the language without words?
who, exactly, is able to make you put on a smile.

it is always a blessing to be innocent.
but once you take a look at the other side of decency,
rest assured there's no turning back.
look through a smile,
and you'll find hatred.
look through a daze,
and you'll find violence.
look through yourselves,
and you'll know that,
nobody actually knew the least of you.

it was so much joy and laughter in the past.
but what happened?

and so i wait.
for the answer to unveil.

and so i wait,
to find out if i am just not good enough a friend.

and so i wait,
till it will all drift away.

and so i wait,
even though knowing it will all not come back.

and so i wait,
while hiding under my blanket of a smile;